I knew when I woke up this morning that TODAY was the day I was going to break the law. I just had to find the perfect moment. I plotted and schemed all morning... thinking to myself, "what will the perfect crime be?" "How can I break free from this wretched do-gooder feeling?"
I got the kids off to school... all the while wondering when the time would come. I cut a bunch of fabric, knowing full well that people who cut fabric because it takes them to their happy place, are hardened criminals. It was time to pick up child #2 and his cousin from Joy school. I snagged them and off we went to pick up a quilt from the quilter. Should I run a red light? Should I mow over that pedestrian? SO tempting. But alas, the timing just didn't feel right.
I dropped off the cousin and had an unhappy baby screaming her dismay. Perhaps she knew I was about to lose my status of "law-abiding citizen". Perhaps she knew her mommy was bad. I just assumed she was hungry and felt an intense desire to placate her. But wait a minute. NOW. The time is NOW that I'm going to break the law. There's a police officer right there. He's watching me. And ON go the lights. "AH, AH, AH" (The Count from Sesame Street) "I've broken the LAW!" I have accomplished what I set out to do. "AH, AH, AH"
OK, so that's not exactly how it happened. But, the fact of the matter is, I got a speeding ticket today and it's the most ridiculous thing in the world. Is this the thanks I get for spending 14, yes FOURTEEN hours of my precious time at a polling location yesterday? I was going 38 in a 30 mph zone. $185 bucks down the drain. Aren't there bad people out there that need to be caught? Do our tax dollars really need to pay our police officers to pull over little soccer moms that volunteer on election days and who have babies and quilts in the car? It's not like I was ripping through a school zone. OK, I might have passed through a school zone and not quite slowed to 15mph, but it was hardly "ripping". There were no kids around.
Sigh. Guess I got busted. I'll understand if you don't want to be friends with a hardened criminal.
12 comments:
Oh girl, you are talking to the wrong girl...lets just say I had several run ins with the law lately. I am now shocked when a cop is behind me and doesn't pull me over. Sad, sad, sad. Ok, first I got a speeding ticket months ago, speeding to my hair appt from a baby shower...so that stupid hair appt ended up costing me $300! then our "friend" and insurance agent, forgot to submit our forms...how on earth. We were driving for months with no insurance and no clue. Finally 2 days in a row I got pulled over before I could make it to the MVD to get it all straightened out. NO FUN. It could be worse. :) But that is a pretty low offence, 8 measly miles over. Sorry.
There's this loverly little thing called defensive driving school where friends get together and listen to stories and even watch movies! It's so awesome possum that I have actually found myself a repeat attender.
I have to admit, I was really enjoying the thought of pleasuresome fabric cutting as a profile cast for criminal minds...
I'm just proud of you that you volunteered at the poll site! You are a good citizen in my book.
Ok, I am Shanen and Trish's neighbor and this just made me laugh. So not because it is funny that you got a speeding ticket. It is the awesome way you wrote this. I was full on expect a homicide or something!
Hopefully you didn't get caught by the Gilbert motor sitting by CTA on Joslyn. I watched him nail people right and left all afternoon by the east school zone.
I met your little girl at Trish's Cinco de Mayo party..well, your husband and boys as well. Tabitha was not swimming alone!!!
Hope you don't mind I visit your blog...especially since I am a retired "mean" cop who used to write those school zone tickets! :)
Hope your weekend is better!!
$185???? Are you kidding???? They'll turn you into a hardened criminal yet when you have to rob a store to cover the cost of the ticket!
I'm sure you can think of a zillion ways to spend $185 other than on a ridiculous, undeserved ticket! Did you know you can do driving school on line now in the comfort of your own home is pj's?
Oh you crack me up! All this time I was under the impression that they usually leave you alone if you're going less than 10 over. So much for that theory! $185--ouch! (you should have flashed him, maybe you could have gotten out of it-ha! ha!)
I love it that you can turn a speeding ticket into such an entertaining commentary!
When I saw you at the polling place I thought to myself. "How are they letting this crazed, physco criminal work in this capacity?" and then I remembered - They are letting one run for president. Oh, just kidding out there - I cant prove he's a criminal.
Whilst I have your attention -
VOTE "YES" on Marriage!
You dont mind me using your blog as a billboard, right Mandy? You can come use mine any day:-)
That's rough Mandy. I love your post even though it was an expensive great story. I have seen a ton of cops on Higley lately and Craig keeps reminding me to watch out for them. Thanks for the reminder.
must be "quota" time P got a ticket coming home from Jackson the other day too!!!! i always think the SAME thing, seriously aren't there other people you need to be "catching" today, am i really that bad!!!!!
Post a Comment